Comments on: What Does Adult ADHD “Look Like”? http://adhdpartner.org/basics/traits/ Findings from a survey querying the partners of adults with ADHD Sun, 18 Mar 2012 16:22:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Gina Pera http://adhdpartner.org/basics/traits/comment-page-1/#comment-15904 Gina Pera Sun, 18 Mar 2012 16:22:39 +0000 http://adhdpartner.org/?p=3#comment-15904 Hi Judy, That's wise of you to limit your financial entanglement, it sounds like. Imagine going into a courtroom with those kinds of stakes and not paying attention. That's just too risky. Why does he not run for treatment, you ask? Because he might not be paying attention to his ADHD-related deficits? Please look out for yourself. g Hi Judy,

That’s wise of you to limit your financial entanglement, it sounds like. Imagine going into a courtroom with those kinds of stakes and not paying attention. That’s just too risky.

Why does he not run for treatment, you ask? Because he might not be paying attention to his ADHD-related deficits?

Please look out for yourself.
g

]]> By: judy http://adhdpartner.org/basics/traits/comment-page-1/#comment-15853 judy Fri, 16 Mar 2012 11:13:44 +0000 http://adhdpartner.org/?p=3#comment-15853 I loved your video on totally ADD. I have just had to give my partner notice to vacate after he entered yet another courtroomand promised someone something that would have meant our home would be held hostage two nights a week by people frequently incarcerated and untreated. First he said he planned it, then later said he regretted it and later still said he had lost interest in what everyone was saying in the courtroom and did not know what he agreed to. I love this guy but I am exhausted and I know he loves me but why does he not run for treatment? His life has been one mess after another! I loved your video on totally ADD. I have just had to give my partner notice to vacate after he entered yet another courtroomand promised someone something that would have meant our home would be held hostage two nights a week by people frequently incarcerated and untreated. First he said he planned it, then later said he regretted it and later still said he had lost interest in what everyone was saying in the courtroom and did not know what he agreed to. I love this guy but I am exhausted and I know he loves me but why does he not run for treatment? His life has been one mess after another!

]]> By: Gina Pera http://adhdpartner.org/basics/traits/comment-page-1/#comment-15321 Gina Pera Mon, 20 Feb 2012 00:12:35 +0000 http://adhdpartner.org/?p=3#comment-15321 Hi Dani, Yes, I think there are many single mothers with ADHD who also have children with ADHD. And yes, I agree that many are doubly challenged. You are expected to provide solid structure for children who have challenges with creating structure - yet you share their challenges! Many manage to do it, though, and they do it by maximizing ADHD treatment strategies. That means, for many, medication, healthy diet, sleep, and "externalizing" strategies wherever possible. That means lists of rules posted where all can see, charts for household chores, routines, etc. Good luck! g Hi Dani,

Yes, I think there are many single mothers with ADHD who also have children with ADHD. And yes, I agree that many are doubly challenged.

You are expected to provide solid structure for children who have challenges with creating structure – yet you share their challenges!

Many manage to do it, though, and they do it by maximizing ADHD treatment strategies. That means, for many, medication, healthy diet, sleep, and “externalizing” strategies wherever possible. That means lists of rules posted where all can see, charts for household chores, routines, etc.

Good luck!
g

]]> By: Dani http://adhdpartner.org/basics/traits/comment-page-1/#comment-15169 Dani Thu, 09 Feb 2012 05:45:28 +0000 http://adhdpartner.org/?p=3#comment-15169 Im wondering if there are any single mothers out there who has ADHD and is also raising a house full of ADHD? Is it just me who struggles everyday to follow through on everything and anything. Discipline is the worst for me! You're grounded! yet tomm I have no idea I grounded you. When asked to go outside, Im distracted with work or schoolwork and respond with a yes. Not even realizing again I didnt follow through. Im wondering if there are any single mothers out there who has ADHD and is also raising a house full of ADHD? Is it just me who struggles everyday to follow through on everything and anything. Discipline is the worst for me! You’re grounded! yet tomm I have no idea I grounded you. When asked to go outside, Im distracted with work or schoolwork and respond with a yes. Not even realizing again I didnt follow through.

]]> By: anon http://adhdpartner.org/basics/traits/comment-page-1/#comment-20 anon Mon, 08 Sep 2008 07:32:04 +0000 http://adhdpartner.org/?p=3#comment-20 oh yes, they can be extremely lovable, distractable, playful and all of the other weird but cute, sexy and fun things until... you get tired of the nutty professor bit and want a partner who can share in a conversation about dealing with day to day "stuff" oh and live the day to day stuff without suddenly losing their notorious sense of humor when(in my opinon) they need it the most and do a complete one sixty on you and make you out to be the biggest jerk who ever crossed their path(spit,spit). He would like to be a dad - but just not yet... He is 44, I am 38... this has been my life for the last 13 years, I wish he had been diagnosed by his parents and treated as a child, instead of having to go through life struggling without answers, but I belive it runs in his family(major constant drama!-huge) ugh. Thank goodness for the on-line support group I found out of blind desperation not even knowing that adults could have add. It has been a huge education and hopefully more people learn of this and can work towards understanding and treatment of ADHD in adults. best wishes everyone- oh yes, they can be extremely lovable, distractable, playful and all of the other weird but cute, sexy and fun things until… you get tired of the nutty professor bit and want a partner who can share in a conversation about dealing with day to day “stuff” oh and live the day to day stuff without suddenly losing their notorious sense of humor when(in my opinon) they need it the most and do a complete one sixty on you and make you out to be the biggest jerk who ever crossed their path(spit,spit). He would like to be a dad – but just not yet… He is 44, I am 38… this has been my life for the last 13 years, I wish he had been diagnosed by his parents and treated as a child, instead of having to go through life struggling without answers, but I belive it runs in his family(major constant drama!-huge) ugh.

Thank goodness for the on-line support group I found out of blind desperation not even knowing that adults could have add. It has been a huge education and hopefully more people learn of this and can work towards understanding and treatment of ADHD in adults.
best wishes everyone-

]]> By: Jan http://adhdpartner.org/basics/traits/comment-page-1/#comment-7 Jan Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:55:01 +0000 http://adhdpartner.org/?p=3#comment-7 I have been with my husband for 27 years, and we dated for 8 years before that. This guy is "all of the above". He is incredibly distractible, loving, messy, playful, daydreamer, intensely interested and obsessive regarding his field (thank goodness!) doesn't maintain anything we own, breaks stuff all the time, makes quite a but of money but is also an impulsive spender, is a charismatic leader but loses his paperwork, keys, etc all the time, thinks outside of the box, doesn't have a clue where the scissors are kept. I could go on and on. He's a terrific dad but kind of doesn't think safety is all that important (or has a different standard than I do). I always thought he was a bit weird but lovable, cute, sexy, but said the "wrong thing" at the "wrong time" and a lot of people are nervous around him, like my daughters' boyfriends. Most people think he is so wonderful though. This sort of person is not easy to live with. Someone has to make sure the cars get serviced and the lawn gets mowed, pay the bills, you know, the tedious work that this type can't bear to do, or finish. We are late everywhere. If you marry a person like this, I can vouch for 2 things- you could be very lucky as well as in for some extra work! I have been with my husband for 27 years, and we dated for 8 years before that. This guy is “all of the above”. He is incredibly distractible, loving, messy, playful, daydreamer, intensely interested and obsessive regarding his field (thank goodness!) doesn’t maintain anything we own, breaks stuff all the time, makes quite a but of money but is also an impulsive spender, is a charismatic leader but loses his paperwork, keys, etc all the time, thinks outside of the box, doesn’t have a clue where the scissors are kept. I could go on and on. He’s a terrific dad but kind of doesn’t think safety is all that important (or has a different standard than I do). I always thought he was a bit weird but lovable, cute, sexy, but said the “wrong thing” at the “wrong time” and a lot of people are nervous around him, like my daughters’ boyfriends. Most people think he is so wonderful though.

This sort of person is not easy to live with. Someone has to make sure the cars get serviced and the lawn gets mowed, pay the bills, you know, the tedious work that this type can’t bear to do, or finish. We are late everywhere.

If you marry a person like this, I can vouch for 2 things- you could be very lucky as well as in for some extra work!

]]> By: Beth W http://adhdpartner.org/basics/traits/comment-page-1/#comment-5 Beth W Thu, 10 Jul 2008 14:31:21 +0000 http://adhdpartner.org/?p=3#comment-5 What I thought was an attractive playfulness which was missing in other men in my age group became a total lack of responsibility as I advanced into our relationship and came to realize he had ADD. As I did my research, I became more aware of the signs of this disorder and the far more serious side effects than just "forgetting where the keys are." I trust this soon to be released book will save others the time I spent wondering what was wrong with me! Now my mantra is "it's not me, it's not me" - it's ADD. What I thought was an attractive playfulness which was missing in other men in my age group became a total lack of responsibility as I advanced into our relationship and came to realize he had ADD. As I did my research, I became more aware of the signs of this disorder and the far more serious side effects than just “forgetting where the keys are.” I trust this soon to be released book will save others the time I spent wondering what was wrong with me! Now my mantra is “it’s not me, it’s not me” – it’s ADD.

]]> By: M. F. http://adhdpartner.org/basics/traits/comment-page-1/#comment-4 M. F. Wed, 09 Jul 2008 21:07:57 +0000 http://adhdpartner.org/?p=3#comment-4 I'm going to buy two copies -- one for me and one for our couple's therapist! I’m going to buy two copies — one for me and one for our couple’s therapist!

]]> By: Debra Afarian http://adhdpartner.org/basics/traits/comment-page-1/#comment-2 Debra Afarian Mon, 07 Jul 2008 05:22:06 +0000 http://adhdpartner.org/?p=3#comment-2 I can't wait for your book. Thank you for your insight, your wisdom, your research and your talent!!! I can’t wait for your book. Thank you for your insight, your wisdom, your research and your talent!!!

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