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I just purchased the book “Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D. I debated for sometime. My concern is am I looking for an excuse for my spouse? He tells me it is just the way he is. He has used my marital vows as justification a few times. I want to live a better life and to show my children we can have a better life. I experience much confusion and wonder if I have ADHD. When look back over the 17+ years we’ve been married, all major decisions have been made and initiated by me. I attend AlAnon as there is no ADHD support available where we live. My children are teenagers and they look at me sometimes as if I am crazy. I had a week break from my son and husband and life was almost boring from the lack of the constant chaos. I was diagnosed as going thru menopause at the age of 43. I wonder if the stress did it. I am rambling here but if anyone can relate to this please share with me.