I’m glad you found this blog, too! And yes, the book should be very helpful for you and your husband.

You might also be interested in my other two blogs:
http://adultadhdrelationships.blogspot.com/
http://www.ADHDRollerCoaster.org

You can sign up for e-mail notification at both!

Hang in there and take care of yourself!
g

My husband was diagnosed, as a child, with ADD. He is not on any medication and really hasn’t ever been. When we were just dating, part of me thought, well it must not be that bad, so I never really gave further thought about it. However, after marrying and having a child, I can see that he truly has ADD and needs help.

We fight constantly about “time” and that he just cannot accomplish, things which seem very simple for me. I did not realize the true effect of ADD and hadn’t done any research on it. Every situation that other couples on your website fight over, such as, closing cubbards, is a daily occurrence and fight in our home. I thought that he was doing it to upset me or that he was lazy and unmotivated. Yet, he can focus to accomplish goals that he wants to do frequently. Now I am begining to understand why he doesn’t sleep, why he likes to pick fights and why he cannot complete anything!!!! Everything on your website is so helpful and I am finally realizing that we may be able to not have as many daily issues. I am ordering your book today and cannot wait to begin reading it! We are/were on the verge of divorce…hopefully understanding and combating these issues in a different manner will effect positive change in our marriage.

Thanks…S

Thanks for visiting and posting.

I hope the physician is asking for your input as the medication is titrated.

From your other post, I know that you’ve read my book, so perhaps you read the section on why a team approach is important. I also wrote about it at my other blog: http://adultadhdrelationships.blogspot.com/2009/12/partners-in-life-partners-in-evaluating.html

As for time, yes indeed, that is a BIG issue for many adults with ADHD. Medication helps many people with ADHD develop a more conscious awareness of time, and it also helps them to complete tasks in a more timely manner — minus distractions, etc. But for the balance, it’s always helpful for the person with ADHD to “externalize” time as much as possible. That means calendars, buzzers, and clocks that make the passage of time visually significant. Example: http://tinyurl.com/yddmzh6

Initiating and prioritizing….also common challenges with ADHD. In addition to medication, it’s often helpful for the adult with ADHD to learn new habits. My book covers some of those, too, and provides some guidelines for finding a therapist or coach who might help.

Dr. Russell Barkley has a new book coming out that is full of practical strategies for adults; it’s due for publication August 2010.

Happy New Year!
g

I would like to see my husband co-exist peacefully with “time”, moving away from time being a rival and the lack of time being a profound disappointment. I would like him to be more at peace with the things that he chooses to drop or delayed rather than seeing them as failures or huge losses. I would like my husband be able to work better with time outside of “now”. I would like to see him initiate and follow through in a timely manner with things at all levels. I believe this could help move us out of the parent-teenager roles we have evolved into. I would like to see my husband incorporating a “we” frame rather than a “me” frame a significant amount of the time, giving the family thoughtful high priority.
I would like to see my husband sleep at least 7hours day, be in bed by 11 a majority of the time and get up at a time that allows him to initiate his plan for the day.

I would love to hear from others for whom this set of difficulties strikes a cord.