symptoms

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We’ve all heard the classic way that adults discover they might have ADHD: Their child is diagnosed. Upon learning the symptoms, they say, “Wow, that sounds just like I used to be!” And the spouse says, “What do you mean, used to be.”

The ADHD Partner Survey asked respondents, “How did you learn your partner might have ADHD?” and offered the options shown in the chart below. For most respondents, the media and/or their therapists did the most to connect their partner’s behavior to ADHD symptoms. And they did this five times better than the family doctor.

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If your partner has ADHD, you’d surely know it, right? The signs would have been obvious from the very beginning of the relationship, right?

Not so fast. Sometimes this is true, especially given recent years’ increased awareness. In the last decade or two, better childhood screening also means more young adults with ADHD enter relationships fully aware of their strengths and challenges, and they often have embraced good strategies to achieve balance. But for most ADHD Partner Survey respondents, most of whom were 30 and over, ADHD flew far under the radar screen–sometimes for decades.

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Maybe you’ve heard that people with ADHD are “creative” or “risk-taking” or “extroverted.” The truth is, people with ADHD are individuals. Yes, the estimated 10 to 20 million of these adults in the U.S. alone have distinct personalities, talents, backgrounds, and attitudes. And, like everyone else, they don’t fit neatly into a box.

Still, there’s one thing adults with ADHD do have in common: a syndrome that manifests very differently across the spectrum, depending on which traits predominate.

That’s why if you rely on shaky stereotypes about what Adult ADHD is or is not, you might never see the Big Picture. More likely, you’ll see only caricatures, not people with a complex condition that closely resembles the human condition— writ large. More important, you’ll miss the fact that someone you love might have it. Read the rest of this entry »

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